The Birth of the Short Rant
by Plot-Bunny-Madness
Summary: Okay this is the birth of the short rant that popped into my head after a memory I had that I had given a stupid rant before I even knew of FMA. Then I remembered that Hohenheim was to stupid to think of a comeback when he was called dumb and so put it in


Rocker: Hi guys I know I shouldn't be putting up a one shot when I have fics to write but still... I just got home today after the new kid called me stupid. I'm the smartest one in my entire school and not even the bullies dare insituate that I am stupid.

Ed: Wow you're even more sensitive on the subject of stupidity that Hohenheim. I mean He didn't go into a rant at all he just shouted that he wasn't stupid.

Me: That's because he was to stupid to come up with a comeback. (Oh snap!)

Al: *Snickers* Wow. I don't think anyone ever made that comment on what he said. Oh! Um RockinRockerChic221 does not own FullMetal Alchemist or as you all seem to like to call it FMA whatsoever. Hiromu Arakawa does. I hope you all have a nice day and please review... BROTHER THERE IS NOT A MAN TRAPPED INSIDE THE MAGIC BOX WITH MOVING PICTURES ROCKER CALLS A TV! NO BROTHER DON'T BREAK THE... screen.

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><p>Edward laughed as he and his brother ran through the hills of Risembool with their long time friend Winry Rockbell when they came across two tall teenage boys that had just moved there.<p>

The one with brown hair looked at them and grinned. "Playing with you little brother I see?" the boy said. Ed was confused. Everyone in Risembool knew he was older than Alphonse. His mom and everyone else made sure to establish that.

"Um... He's my younger brother and Winry isn't related to us," Edward said looking up at the two older boys.

"Wow... you must be pretty short than." That was the first time anyone had ever called Edward short and he didn't like it.

"Um... Excuse me? I am not short you're just too tall."

"Sure whatever you say shortie," the other boy said as they turned around. Edward was to say the least Furious.

"I am not short. I am taller than Lillith and she's the second tallest kid in her first grade class! I'm taller than Austin Herona too! I. Am. Not. Short!" Ed ranted on his way home with Winry and Alphonse. Then an idea came into his head as Winry asked why he was still angry that someone had called him short.

"WHO YOU CALLIN SO SHORT THAT IF THEY COULDN'T EVEN MAKE A NOOSE FOR THEMSELVES WITH THE SMALLEST PIECE OF STRING ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET CAUSE IT WAS BIGGER THAN HIM HUH! COULD A SHORTIE DO THIS! HUH! WHAT DO YOU THINK!" A five year old Edward said as he kicked a soccer ball all the way to the other end of Risembool. 'Wow that was kind of fun. Maybe this'll teach people not to call me short cuz I'm not!' Edward thought as he watched it fly.

This was the birth of the short rant.

Meanwhile...

Hohenheim fell down as he carried in the veggies from the garden as an apple that had recently been bitten by a possum that had been killed by a horse and buggy after it had run off after a family member across the street that had been hit in the head by a soccer ball hit him in the head giving him trauma. A little girl ran up to him as he fell.

"Wow mister you must be really stupid to have tripped under thin air!"

"I AM NOT STUPID!" Hohenheim yelled as the little girl stood there.

"See? You were too stupid to think of a comeback. Sad," I said as I walked away. Hohenheim picked up the basket and wasked the veggies and fruits. All except for one... The one that made Trisha sick... The one that wasn't in his basket to begin with and a disease ridded possum had bitten. Hohenheim had noticed it and shoved it into the basket anyways not thinking it was his and that he had started to eat it but stopped. When he got home he set it on the table then went to make dinner. That idiot.

A few minutes later Trisha picked up the apple. It looked like one of her sons had taken it and bit into it, but left it. She bit into the apple unknowingly gaining every single disease the possum had that had killed the possum. She had eaten the apple that would slowly kill her in four to five years.

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><p>Me: Okay the second part popped into my head as I wrote. It seemed like something that would happed and I was wondering how Trisha got that disease anyways also I REALLY wanted to call Hohenheim dumb. Besides possums are disease ridden and that could have really happened. Besides I really wanted to hit someone in the head with that soccerball Ed kicked. PEACE!<p> 


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